Summertime Sadness

Being married is fun!



It’s an exact match to life before the words were said and the tears were shed but life at that time was superbly entertaining and whimsical!


The world unfortunatly is still a frustrating, idiotic, vat full of stereotyping ignorant fools including myself but it’s a beautiful day at the Hines’s house. I was sure after our marriage something would change but nothing did.

I lie. I knew absolutely nothing would change but…

I had hope.

Here’s hoping’

Summer reminds me of hope. Therefore I have a love/ hate relationship with this season. Lately, I hate it a lot. I despise everything except the fruit. Summertime berries are the best.

I have been in a “summertime sadness” since we got to Thomasville. In Chicago my mind is always preoccupied with people, or places to go, things we have to do-always a schedule that must be kept.  At home in Thomasville the opposite is true and I’m having much trouble keeping up. I have never fallen behind in my life though and I will not now.

I have recently learned I have no clue what I like to do in my spare-time. I have never had spare-time, and if I did Chicago would figure out how to schedule it. I didn’t have to use any thought while living there. I’m an only child in Thomasville again. I have to use my imagination and play tic tack toe with my space dog because there’s not a neighborhood festival down the block and I will never have enough focus to hone my energy into watching T.V. I think I’ve reached the point in my life where I must try to befriend a Georgian.  I am starting to annoy Bear. While he is trying to play his game or his harmonica or have a quiet poop I’ll tell him a nice little story about Audrey and I’s day.

One of my most disturbing obstacles is I can’t write. I can blame this on my, “summertime sadness”, I can blame it on not having my writing room to myself, I can blame it on fucking art school but I think, if I’m honest ,I can’t finish it because the CIDP didn’t flare-up around the wedding. It always flares up when life is at its most perfect! Is it waiting for me to put my guard down? Cuz I’m not. But am I? I don’t know! I think I need to think about other things but what!? I’m going to cry a lot and eat Reeses.


Maybe get my law degree…


Leave a comment


email* (not published)