Summertime Sadness

Being married is fun!

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It’s an exact match to life before the words were said and the tears were shed but life at that time was superbly entertaining and whimsical!

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The world unfortunatly is still a frustrating, idiotic, vat full of stereotyping ignorant fools including myself but it’s a beautiful day at the Hines’s house. I was sure after our marriage something would change but nothing did.

I lie. I knew absolutely nothing would change but…

I had hope.

Here’s hoping’

Summer reminds me of hope. Therefore I have a love/ hate relationship with this season. Lately, I hate it a lot. I despise everything except the fruit. Summertime berries are the best.

I have been in a “summertime sadness” since we got to Thomasville. In Chicago my mind is always preoccupied with people, or places to go, things we have to do-always a schedule that must be kept.  At home in Thomasville the opposite is true and I’m having much trouble keeping up. I have never fallen behind in my life though and I will not now.

I have recently learned I have no clue what I like to do in my spare-time. I have never had spare-time, and if I did Chicago would figure out how to schedule it. I didn’t have to use any thought while living there. I’m an only child in Thomasville again. I have to use my imagination and play tic tack toe with my space dog because there’s not a neighborhood festival down the block and I will never have enough focus to hone my energy into watching T.V. I think I’ve reached the point in my life where I must try to befriend a Georgian.  I am starting to annoy Bear. While he is trying to play his game or his harmonica or have a quiet poop I’ll tell him a nice little story about Audrey and I’s day.

One of my most disturbing obstacles is I can’t write. I can blame this on my, “summertime sadness”, I can blame it on not having my writing room to myself, I can blame it on fucking art school but I think, if I’m honest ,I can’t finish it because the CIDP didn’t flare-up around the wedding. It always flares up when life is at its most perfect! Is it waiting for me to put my guard down? Cuz I’m not. But am I? I don’t know! I think I need to think about other things but what!? I’m going to cry a lot and eat Reeses.

 

Maybe get my law degree…

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